This is a place in which you can read my not very well thought out ranting about random things that piss me off, if you feel the urge to attempt to counter my logic with yours SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Rant #1: Hippies.

I'm all for saving the enviroment, I'm all for reform in the government. But, what I'm not all for, is sitting around in oversized clothing, smoking pot. I hate it when they talk about how corporations are raping the planet of its resources, and putting down the little guys, and then go out to a supermarket and buy chips made by DORITOS, then get pizza from PIZZA HUT, rent a movie from BLOCKBUSTER, and drink soda from COCA COLA!! These fuckers need to be hunted down, and forced to beat each other to death in a big dirt arena while i watch, and throw tomatos at them, sitting next to the big corporate executives.

Rant #2: People who Sue over NOTHING!

There are people who have made their way through life doing nothing but suing companies. A few years ago, a woman actually sued AND WON Mcdonalds for spilling hot coffee on herself. SHE SPILLED THE DAMN COFFEE ON HERSELF! I could understand if a Mcdonalds employee actually poured it on top of her head, that would be wrong. But, she did it to herself, and won! Whatever happened to the American dream, you work hard, and it pays off. Now, something that makes you feel uncomfortable, is reason to sue!! It's un-fucking-believable!! At a company, the 'rug hair' made several people sneeze semi often, so they sued (and won) getting corporate headquarters to accomidate them. They werent satisfied, so the company was forced to build them a seperate building. Less than ten people, brand new building. That's it, next topic.

Rant #3: Vegans/Vegetarians who LIKE MEAT

This makes me want to punch a baby. I've talked to several girls (not a single guy) who are all vegans/vegetarians, and I got a response from several of them saying that, 'I'm vegan because my friends are tee hee'. Now, I realize that I'm exaggerating a little bit, but that's essentially the response I got. These spoiled little rich girls arent abstaining from meat for any real purpose, they're doing it to 'fit in'. These are the same people that tell their friends to sniff keyboard cleaner. If you want to not eat meat, and be a vegetarian, that's fine! More power to you! But, if you're going to use some bullshit reason like, 'I just want to fit in', go stick your boyfriend's meat in your mouth!

Rant #4: Red Necks

I live in the South, I know what I'm talking about in this issue. I've heard a shit load about 'god hating queers', 'those damn mexicans are taking our jobs', 'them blacks need to learn their places', 'women are meant to be in the kitchen, not at work!' and other such racist ignorant shit. I want to castrate these men, they do not need to be breeding. They need to die, right now. I'm one of the most liberal people in the world (yet, I'm anti hippy, how ironic), I really dont feel any real spite towards anyone, except racist white southerners. I've heard of several instances in which people were beaten, and even killed, just because they were gay, black, or anything other than the 'pure race'. I even heard a story about a group from Kansas, marching all the god damn way to OREGON to protest a play, about gay people. They went 1500 miles out of their ways, to be fucking racist! Dont these guys have anything else to do with their time? Apparently not.

Rant #5: The French

Most of you are thinking that i'm going to go off, and just say how bitchy and whiny they are, but I'm not. Because, for me to categorize an entire country of people would be arrogent of me, and not even I am that arrogant.

Rant #6: Whiggers/Posers

I HATE these fuckers! Rich, spoiled white people who try to act black, because they think it makes them cool. What are these people, fucking stoned?! You're white! ACT IT! I mean come on, I'll admit, there was a time in which I acted like a whigger, but I have since learned better. I'm talking about the rich kids who listen to rap, wear pants around their fucking thighs, and let their asses hang out all over the place. It makes me want to electroshock them. I dont mind listening to rap, or liking black culture, but when you look, and act like an idiot, you need an intervention.

Rant #7: Those "Truth" Commercials

Now, these are basically hippies with money. If you watch TV, you've seen these "Truth" commercials, in which they show the dangers of smoking cigarettes, and doing other sorts of drugs. I'm not for getting people to do drugs, and im all for trying to keep them from doing it, but if you're inspired not to do drugs by these commercials, then you're probably inspired by your High School Principal, or a teacher of yours. These commercials make it look like every person who does drugs is evil, and that they're hurting everyone around them, which is bullshit! Most of the people who smoke pot, hit the joint, eat a twinky, go to sleep, wake up, and go on with their lives. They're also the same group of fuckers lobbying to put the tobacco industry out of business, saying that they 'sell deadly drugs'. Well fucking duh! They're the TOBACCO industry, not the fluffy fucking bunny industry, tobacco kills, the people that smoke the tobacco know this, it's written right on the box! The only way we're going to get kids NOT to do drugs is to make sure the parents have the balls to actually beat the shit out of their kids, it's the reason I DONT DO DRUGS!! next topic please.

Rant #8 Professional Movie Critics

I have a physical hatred of these cretans. I live in Tampa Bay FL, and there's a critic for the St. Petersburg Times named Steve Persall, and he's a douche. He couldnt tell a good movie from a pile of shit his dog layed last night. He gives movies like 'a walk to remember' or 'brokeback mountain' A, A- ratings, while AWESOME movies like American Pie, Scary Movie and Saw F's! Now, I'll admit they're not the tastiest flavor of pie in the bakery, but they're asking somebody who likes TEARJERKER movies, to review COMEDIES. That's like asking a GAY man to have sex with a LESBIAN, and rate it from 1-10. That's not even the half of it, there are armies of these pricks, reviewing genres they plain dont care for, giving them bad reviews. If the damned newspapers would just find critics who liked specific genres, and have them go out, AND REVIEW THEM. I know, this sounds very stupid, but it's one of my many pet peeves.

Rant #9 Those Who do Nothing But Fuck

I'm a guy, I like the feeling of sexual activities, but I hate these people who do nothing but grope, fuck, blow, etc. These people think they're the 'shit', that girls/guys looove them, and that all guys/girls want to fuck them. I have two friends, who's names will not be mentioned. Well, let's just call them Bob and Jill. All they do outside of school, IS FUCK! I cant wait for Jill to get pregnant, Bob to get kicked out of his house, and forced to work in a dead end job for the rest of his life, trying to support a bitchy, whiny wife and an illegitamate son/daughter who resents them. Fucking Bob...

Rant #10 Catholics

Alright, I'm athiest, so that pretty much constitutes my hatred of these fuckers. I was raised on catholic beliefs, though I do believe my mother's an agnostic at this point. I dont have a problem with their ideals, you live a good life, you go to heaven, you're bad, hell. But, then again, who is to say what constitutes a 'bad' life? God? If you check the bible, god is the leading cause of death. Besides that, catholics have a religion, based around the teachings of a philosopher named Jesus Christ, a Jewish philosopher, somebody who preached tolerance for all others. Yet, the catholic church itself has condescended on any religion other than its own. I went to a catholic church youth group a few months ago, the minister or priest or rapist, whatever they're known as these days, was preaching that the damn Tsunami over in Thailand was a GOOD thing, because it sent all those people who havent yet reached the age of acknowledgement, and so they went to heaven, instead of growing up to worship pagan gods, or cows. They told me this! They told me that they would go to hell, even though they ALL lead nice, honest lives. I've been told by COUNTLESS people that I'm going to hell because I denounce god. Yet, the people telling me this (are catholic) fuck, steal, lie, and perform more ANTI catholic activities than anyone i've ever met. The truth is, Athiests like me are the people you WANT running things, we're not afraid to perform basic, logical actions, without feeling guilty about it, like the damn terri shaivo incident less than a year ago, if it wasnt for the 'religious issues' she would've died 14 years ago, thus saving us possibly thousands of dollars! alright, if i go on any more, you wont have time to read my other rants...

Rant #11 Celebrities

I fucking hate them. There's an actor, and then there's a celebrity, an actor is somebody who goes onto a movie set, says some lines, does a good job, and goes home. Now, a celebrity, I cant stand, these are people who go out of their way to cause controversy to make themselves even more famous, but whine when the paparazzi take their fucking pictures wherever they go. NO SHIT THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE YOUR PICTURE FUCK NUT! I mean come on, when you've got your pants around your ankles, that's a god damn photo opt! Other celebrity bull shit, is stuff like Tom Cruise. Oh my god I hate this fucker! He actually has the gaul to say that NOONE needs anti depressants, that they're just street drugs. Alright, to an extent he's right, but he's also the man who wanted to eat his child's placenta. Hell, all he needs is some nice fava beans and some chianti and he's got a party. Alright, in short, if you're going to act, act, dont use your fame and fortune to make yourself look like an asshole for the rest of the world to oogle at. Im done with that little rant...

Rant #12 Kids Today

Alright, this is incredibally hypocritical of me, I know, I'm one of them. But, kids today have NO work ethic, at all! Just looking around I've noticed this little fact. Sitting in my math class the other day, most of the class had just bombed a test, and instead of doing extra work to boost their grades, they bitched, moaned, and whined, trying to get the teacher to give out extra credit. One of the little punks even argued that, 'We know the material, it's just that we can't do it on the test'. I want to hit him, because, HE DOESNT KNOW THE MATERIAL!! They all said, 'Give us a 20 point curve, we deserve it' No, you dont. Because most of these little shits didnt so much as study, or do their homeworks. They did the bare minimum of work, got the minimum grade, and started to whine. I'm currently failing that class, but I dont make excuses, it's all my fault, I choose not to do extra work, I accept that, but they cant seem to grasp the concept of working overtime, going out of their way to get extra help, so that they do get better grades on tests. Bottom line, these kids needed to be hit more as kids.


Rant #13 DK *[dark kitty in big trouble] did this one!*

Alright, this is how this thing goes. DK is a term used to sum up all people who arnt in the group of 'jocks' or 'preps' or anything in that general line. DK is short for Dirty Kids, which is now the newest label put on practically half of my school. And guess what? IT'S F*CKING ANOYING! Goddamn. This all started out as some lame myspace group called 'DK patrol' that expanded all over school and has blown up into a huge problem. Another myspace has been created to cancel out the first called 'DK proud'. Both of these groups have set up a hit list targeting certain people on the lists. They also have rumors spreading that guns and knives are going to be brought to school to 'set things straight'. What I think about this? I think BULL SHIT! Not one person in my school has the balls to do this. And further more, saying that they'll do it on 6/6/06. That's just lame. Not only have they brought out a new label, but their also dragging religon into it now as well. Whoever started this need's to get a life, seriously. Because if all they do is spend their time ratting on people who are different from them, they have WAY to much time on their hands......

Rant #14 anti gay marriage

This, is just plain stupid. The only people who are anti gay marriage, are all in the closet. I dont give a shit who you are, if you're against this, you're in the fucking closet, waiting to come out and tell everyone that you're really a sodomy loving fag. This has got to be the largest waste of an issue, I have ever seen. This is taking time away from our President (who somehow still finds time to take a weekly vacation), in order to discuss something that is irrelevant. Where the fuck does it pay off to oppose gay marriage?! What could ANYONE aquire from not allowing gay people to get married?! Well, aside from the knowledge that you've oppressed a large group of people (sound familiar to all you germans out there?). Now, in an earlier rant, I ranted about racists in general, now it's time to get a little more specific. Hating gay people is the DUMBEST thing in the world to do, it really is. I can understand hating black people because a large group of them beat the ever living shit out of you and raped your wife, that's easy. But, the only way you could justify hating a gay man, is if they came up to you, and raped you up the ass, which, rarely happens outside of catholic churches, or Neverland Ranch. Now, before I stop this little rant of mine, I will remind you that I am incredibally liberal, not in the fact that I believe that everyone is truly equal, no. I believe that it's NOT OUR FUCKING CONCERN!! We dont need to be telling two gay men they cant marry, marriage isnt that sacred, just look at the catholics, they're all getting divorces, doesnt that violate the sanctity of marriage?
alright, I'm done, next topic...

Rant #15 The FCC
The FCC, The Federal Communications Commission. I hate them. They are a group of self appointed, NOT ELECTED, officials who take the time to get to know every single person in America, then decide what's suitable to be on television. Oh wait, that's not them... Oh yeah! They're the fuckers who tell us what's good and what's not based on their own personal beliefs, most religious. They were started by a priest in the South, someone who heard something he didnt like on the radio, so he basically started the FCC. Apparently, he didnt realize that there were two KNOBS on the radio, of course a priest has never been completely comfortable with anything that has knobs on it. But, whenever the FCC sees something that they find to be offensive, they immediately take it off of TV, or the radio (not the newspaper however). Most of what they do is based on children, 'will it hurt the children?' You know what I say to that, "FUCK THE CHILDREN!" They get too much attention from the media, and esspecially the FCC and ESRB(the rating system of videogames). Alright, I'm going to save the rest for another rant on another day...

Rant #16 Internet perverts

This wiki is dedicated to [Allison.] and [Wendy], whom have been sexually harassed more than anyone I know. And for all you 'cyber kids' out there, get off your computer, pry your cum covered hands off of your dick (or, if you're a girl, out of your vag). If you want to have a sexual experience, go out, get to know somebody, let them get to know you, fall in love, and you can have ACTUAL sexual experiences, instead of pretending. Now, some of you guys, who claim to be, 'haWt N SexY', go away, and kill yourself while you're at it, you're useless to society. Next time you go up to a girl, asking if they want to cyber, you're probably assuming they have no standards, and that they would 'net fuck' anyone. No, most girls that I know have actual standards, and instead of lowering their standards to cybering, go out and actually interact with other people. Now, I know I have friends that probably cyber, and im fine with that. I'm not going to shake their hands, but I'm fine with it. Oh, and if anyone reading this asks either miss Amicitia OR miss wendy to cyber again, I'll make you fucking baul over and cry, have a nice day.

Rant #17 Emo Kids

Alright, before I go up New York and get my ego bruised with insults, time to rant, this time about shitty emo kids. Why is it that whenever one of these little kids gets dumped, they think that gives them the credibility to pretend to mope around, and write shitty music? I've noticed that the kids that should be depressed (being beaten repeatedly by parents, poor, living in slums, etc, etc) are the ones that are most inspired to do something with their lives, while these rich (all white) kids who think they're cool by wearing skin tight clothes (unics, maybe?). I hate them, I've talked to several, none are funny, and I mean none. They all shop at Hot Topic, and think that the particular brand name makes them cool. Well, it doesnt, it makes you one lame motherfucker. We have a game down at the D-pad, it's called 'Guess that emo kid's gender' and let me tell you all something, it tends to get difficult. Oh, and I'll describe the music for you, 'My girlfriend left me, there's no point in living, check out my Myspace!'

Rant #18 Religous Racists

I am FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW!! There are...certain people I would like to thank for me being athiest, let me get my thank you speach. Number 1: God, without your murderous ways, I would still believe in you. Number 2: Jesus Christ, without whose teachings, religious fanatics wouldnt have had words with which to control the masses, thank you. Number 3: The 12 apostles, without you 12 whiteboys, the word of Jesus would've taken an additional...12 years to spread! Number 4: Muhammad, without his perverted teachings, the world wouldnt have militant Islam, thank you very much. Number 5: Spain, without your help, the Inquisition wouldnt have happened, and thousands of jews, muslims, and other such people would've lived MUCH longer during midevil Spain. Number 6: The Pope during the crusades, without whose influence, the population of Europe might've reached numerable numbers. Number 7: The K.K.K. for telling it like it is, thank you white boys very much. Number 8: That fucking bitch at the church a few months ago who preached christian dominance over the world, calling the Tsunami in Thailand a 'gift from god'. Number 9: The nazis, they were ALL staunch catholics. Number 10: George Carlin, because he actually tells it like it is. And, seriously, I have to thank my parents, they have actually accepted my religious choice, and they support me, because now that I've vented, I would just like to give everyone, all four of you, a little piece of advice: I dont care what you believe in, just as long as you believe in yourselves and the people you care about.

Rant# 19 Conservative all the way through Liberals

Both parties are bastards, and I know, I'm in American Government. The definition of a conservative is someone who believes that the Government should restrict people's lives in order to preserve traditional values, but says the government should stay out of affairs that deal with economy. The definition of a liberal is somebody who thinks that the government should help those who are poor, down on their luck, etc, etc. The problems with these ideals is that, you can't have one or the other, we need a moderation of both, both of these political parties have to work in unison, or else there's going to be problems, like right now. I think the government should stay out of personal affairs, a few examples being: Gay marriage, abortion. That's a liberal view. I also believe that the government should keep taxes low. That's a conservative view. Both sets of politicians have one sided views, and they think that their one set of views can keep the country in working order, but they cant, they need a moderate, somebody in the middle, who believes in a combination of these values.

Rant# 20- Bulimia/Anorexia

Bullshit, complete and total bullshit. Young girls around the entire US seem to be indoctrinated to think that they need to be under a certain weight to be attractive. Bullshit, pure, unbridaled, all American, grade A, prime cut bullshit. For one thing, most guys arent looking for a girl so small you can see her spine, ribs and femur! For christ sakes, I saw a god damn girl's god damn femur! For those that havent taken anatamy, the femur is the largest and thickest bone in the body, burried underneath the thigh. And, I've seen girls so skinny, their femur was showing, made me gag a little bit. But, the worst part is, my older sister is bulimic and anorexic, and today, I had to be the first one into the recovery ward to see her, she was all skinny and boney, her face was gaunt white, and she had IV's in her arms. Apparently, she hadnt eaten for almost 3 days, and she even threw up that night, and she collapsed today at work. The first thing she told me and my dad was, 'well, at least I'm still skinny'. Her body's in such bad condition that they have to pump food into her in careful doses. DOSES! They have to control the amount of food and water that gets into her system, because her body isnt quite USED TO FOOD! That's the point which she's reached, her body can barely process food anymore. Now, I dont know if you know this, but that takes quite a bit of trying to fuck up something as perfect as the human body. These girls are slowly killing themselves, just because a few models and actresses do it, and it makes me sick. Next time you skip a meal, think about what you're missing out on.

Rant# 21- Those who bastardize peaceful documents
Alright, these people suck, on an EPIC level. Christian Fundamentalists, Jewish Fundamentalists, and Muslim Fundamentalists are all the same. They take the Bible (New and Old) and the Koran using them to persecute and oppress. Most conservatives claim the Bible in order to persecute homosexuals, but choose to ignore where it says, 'Do unto others'. These fanatics regularly use these documents to get away with shitloads of crimes against humanity, all in the name of god. I'll use just a few examples, 9/11, the war in the Middle East, Northern Ireland, the Inquisition, the Holocaust and the exterminations in Bosnia. Now, let's change gears just a little bit now- the American Constitution. And, with that, I would like to point out the first amendment in particular, and to narrow it down even more, the Freedom of Speech. This amendment has been bastardized more than any other rule, law, or decree over all of American history. Oh! I especially love the ones who think it applies to all aspects of everyday life, those crackers are my favorites. People who put up the most IGNORANT bullshit I have EVER read, and say, 'oh, i invoke 1st amendment, cant touch this.' and, i KNOW Charles Darwin is just rolling over in his grave, not for the usual reasons, but with laughter. Because, he knows in his heart, that all of those people are getting affected by natural selection much faster than most people, and they deserve it.

Rant#22- Black and White

Some of you are probably thinking this is about race, it's not. When I say 'Black and White', I mean thoughts. Ladies, gentlemen, NOTHING in this world is black and white in idea, nothing can be taken as completely good or completely evil, and anyone remember that guy with the funny mustache in WWII germany? Yeah, he advocated black and white thought. Now, I'm not saying everyone who's a black and white thinker is a nazi, but that was one of their defining qualities. To think that EVERYTHING is black or white is just plain rediculous, and I'm going to list off just a few examples that we (americans in particular, sorry all you foreigners) just can't logically take as black and white in the sake of NATIONAL interest, not personal. Abortion, I've seen black and white thinking on BOTH sides of the debate- people who think abortion should be COMPLETELY illegal, even for those women who were raped, and people who think anyone should get an abortion willy nilly, but they're far less common. The next subject is the death penalty, there are numerous pros and cons to both sides of the debate, and I used to be pro death penalty, but now I'm undecided because of this. But, most people arent fortunate enough to be able to hear both sides of the debate (politicians, maybe?). The US is the only 'modernized' country left to have the death penalty, publically stated to be used as a deterrant (see how well it works?). War is another thing that people are either staunchly for or against, and there are far too many pros and cons to list in just one of these little ranting entries. Folks, if any of you reading this dont listen to your opponents in the debate, and just spend the time they use talking trying to think of a response, please, please remember that nothing in life is monocausal, and NOTHING is black, nor is it white. Oh, and if any of you would ask [RabidSphinx] to read this, I would be greatly abliged, I want to hear her reaction to this. It's in her honor.

Rant# 24- People who are take me seriously

Alright folks, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Nobody ever takes me seriously when I'm goofin around with them, then I say something they dont like. That's when they get pissed off. Let's just give you an example- Last week, I was hangin out with friends at a videogame arcade, and I crack a jewish joke. We all giggle. Then, I crack a mexican joke, and my buddy Steve gets pissed at me. Folks, you may call me racist, but I'm really not, I hate and insult everyone equally, I dont take race into account when I insult people, I view them all as imperfect(including myself). [FireGypsy] just took me seriously, I dont really know why. I'm a member of High as a fuggin kite! AND Hippy pride, and she's taking me seriously about my rant. People, when you hear me say something, and you think I'm being seriously, seriously, think for a minute, 'When exactly is James EVER serious?'

Rant# 25- Fake nerds

These people are the bottom of the evolutionary well in my book. I'm a nerd, which means I spend all my time reading LotR, watching anime, reading manga, etc. I've had countless conversations with people like, 'yeah! i dig naruto, who's your favorite character?' "umm, that...one...guy?" I've basically devoted myself to being a nerd, in fact, I just went on a 'comeback tour' of Yugioh, a shitty collectable card game (and did pretty well). I am such a nerd, I can recite endless amounts of information about LotR, Star Wars, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, FMA, and even he first season of Power Rangers (that's right!). Most of these 'fake nerds' just try to be a nerd because they arent cool enough to be one of the popular pukes, so they pull their pants up, learn a few names and claim to be a nerd, without partaking in the actual nerd experiences, a.e. having no actual life. Heh, i do find it kinda funny- annorexic nerds- nerds who actually care about what other people think about them. Me and mine dont give a shit, nerds are damn proud! We hold our heads high, and are proud of our lack of lives! So, all of you fake nerds out there, drop your pants around your asses, and go back to trying to be cool, stop trying to be like Mike.

Rant# 26- Genocidal Dumbasses

Hey! Fucktards! Yeah, you, I'm talking to you, no, not you, the one next to you! You just said that all stupid people need to die, wow. AND! and, you just claimed to be pro-america, that tickles me a bit. Hey, wasn't there a group of people about sixty-seventy years ago who tried to kill off all the stupid people? oh yeah! there was, and I remember seeing old newsreels about them, but they were hard to understand because the narration was in german. I fucking hate Neo-nazi's, they are among the lowest of the food chain. This has been a rant by James King, thank you for listening.

Rant# 27- Merry Christmas

Why can't we use merry for other purposes? When we hear the word merry we're automatically indoctrinated to think about Christmas. I want to change the rules, I say we have a merry new year. Fuck Happy, happy's for chumps. Why can't the blacks have a merry kwanza? The jews dont have a merry Hannukah? (sorry about the spelling) And to shift gears on a similar topic, I'm not digging Christmas too much anymore. Now, as an athiest, I shouldnt be celebrating anything that is supposed to commemorate the birth of a false prophet (in my eyes). But, it isnt even a christian thing anymore! I went over to a jewish friend of mine's house, and he and his very jewish family were all celebrating Christmas. God bless America.

Rant# 28- Blaming It On the Music and Videogames

Columbine, one of the greatest trageties of american culture. Blamed on Merilyn Manson. Teen violence and gang shoot outs. Blamed on Grand Theft Auto. As someone who listens to violent music and plays gorey and action filled videogames, let me tell you, these arent the things that get me into fights. For the past 13 years that i've been in school, I've been picked on. From grades K-10th, I was the chump, the kid everyone picked on and beat up. If I were to go into my school and shoot everyone, police would rade my room and find a large amount of thrash metal and violent games and movies. None of the bullies would be punished, in any way, nor feel guilty. But, all of those bands and game developers would get strongly worded letters about how they need to be more careful, and that their responsability is to make safe, clean cut games/music that's wholesome for the whole family. Jack Thompson would go on a crusade, suing every game developer and heavy metal rock group label under the big bright blue sky. But, nobody would've thought, 'Wow, this guy went through some shit. Beaten up for about 11 years, no wonder he was so pissed! My god, I'm amazed he didnt do this earlier!' As much bullshit as this sounds, I've thought about taking my knife, going to school, and offing some of the pricks who beat me up as a kid, but I didnt, I held on to my sanity. And would all of you like to know how, it's an ironic answer, you'll all loooove it. Here's my secret- I kept myself distracted with

MUSIC AND VIDEOGAMES!

Rant# 29: Old People

First off, let me just say that this rant is dedicated to a certain group of the senile generation. I work at Wendys, a popular fast food chain that is famous for it's flexible menu and combo choices. I also live in Florida, where old people go to die. And for all intents and purposes, they're as dead as they're going to get as soon as they walk through the front door of my Wendys. If as fast as they think is full blast, then we might as well toss them in the graves now. I'll admit, my 86 year old grandmother thinks like that, but we tend to keep her indoors these days. My other grandmother is stone cold fuckin nuts, but she can still at least comprehend a Wendys menu board. My shift starts in aboot 45 minutes, and I guarentee, I'm going to hear this for the entire afternoon, "Excuse me, can I order a senior sized frosty?" 'Alright, what size frosty would you like ma'am?' (cuz, i'm always fuckin polite and smiling, drives me nuts). "A senior, please" 'yes, alright, but what size would you like?' "But, I said a senior size." (this is the point where the sarcasm starts) 'Alright, I'll just give you a large sized, how's that?' "But, I dont want a large size!" 'Then which size would you like?' "Senior!" 'You come in every day, and I tell you the same thing, we only have THREE sizes, small medium and large. which would you like?!' "small." And they ALWAYS touch me! Not inappropriately or anything, but my hand as I'm leaning on the counter, as if they're being cute in anyway possible. It's fuckin creepy as hell feeling that old, nasty, wrinkly old skin on mine. Makes my skin crawl. The next thing i'm gonna complain about is the fact that they always complain. Kinda ironic, I know, but bear with me on this one. I'll give them a cup of coffee, and I'm talkin RIGHT as soon as it's done brewing. "Sir, can you get me a fresh cup of coffee, this one seems a bit stale. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT, THIS IS NOT MCDONALDS! this is not a gourmet coffee shop, if you want cheap coffee, talk to us. If you want good coffee, go to Starbucks and get the fuck away from me. Oh! and when they order chili, you give them two packets of crackers, it's the rule. Then they say those inevitable, annoying as hell words, "Give me just a few more crackers please, for my chili." for my chili. I thought it was gonna be for your coffee. But, I dont mind giving out two extra packets, it's no big deal, but then they ask for more, until I'm damn near bone dry on my cracker supply, and I have to run back and restock twenty minutes into the daily lunch rush, which is probably starting as I'm typing this. Bottom line is: Old people expect to be treated better just because they lived a life working the same dead end job and raising a bunch of retard kids that havent grown up into any sort of real place in life that his father hadnt already acheived, they smell funky, they always complain, and they're non gratuitous. Or, in simpler words: Old people SUCK!

Rant #30: Hopeless Romantics

Alright, I'm that guy. When I say that guy, i mean i'm the nice guy, the one the girls always say they're looking for, but really they're just saying that and then going for mr hotty. Now, I've fallen in love a grand total of three times this year. Dated one for six months, broke up over practically nothing. The second one stood me up. Now, the third one just compared my small penis to that of a penis that made her cry it was so big. Shows how fuckin amazing my love life is. But, I'm talking about the girls who are always just so co-fucking-dependant upon some asshole they tell themselves they love. I'm talking about the girl who's just out of high school and marries her boyfriend of six months cuz he's such a sweetie. Then he gets drunk and yells at her. Oh, he was just drunk, he didnt mean it. Drunk lies=sober truths. That's what sodium penathol does, it gets you 'drunk' then you tell the truth. I've gotten drunk and professed my love for a girl once, i didnt think I felt that way sober, but after the hangover and vomiting, I realized I did. My friend Cath's boyfriend told her he was going to beat and then rape her (while drunk). He denied it. Then tried to (while sober). If you're fucking stupid enough to believe that drunk words dont matter, check again. Dumbass.